If you’re writing a book, you’re likely familiar with the kernels of advice that are shared again and again with aspiring novelists: show don’t tell, be wary of adverbs, don’t go too heavy on the backstory...
Once you’re aware of these potential issues, it becomes infinitely easier to spot them in your own writing—and to fix them. A quick click of the delete button will vanquish even the most determined adverb! But what about the other red flags, the ones that aren’t shared as regularly but that are equally vexing for editors and agents alike?
In this article, our book editors—who joined us from Big Five publishing houses, including Penguin Random House, HarperCollins, Simon & Schuster, Hachette, and Macmillan—each share an individual piece of advice for editing your novels, focusing first and foremost on the things they’d rather not see in your manuscripts. The icks, if you will. (Sorry if ‘ick’ is icky for you.)
Please don’t worry if you recognize some—or even all—of these cardinal sins in your manuscript. They are listed here because they appear regularly in the stories we read; these are common and thus easy-to-make mistakes! So you are very much not alone. And you might even be ahead of the crowd with this list to call on.
It may come as a surprise to discover that the hardest part of editing a manuscript isn’t tackling the problems—although that can be time-consuming and challenging—but recognizing them. It isn’t easy to sit in front of a story you’ve written and identify common errors with the characters, pacing and plot. So settle in with this list and use it as a starting point. Do these problems exist in your story? And then—moving onto the fun part—you can work out how to fix them!
Weak character motivations
Editor 1: Even in the most literary of novels, your main character (or preferably all of your characters!) needs to have a clear goal. Without that tangible thing to strive for, your protagonist will likely end up wandering from scene to scene with very little purpose—which can make for a very boring read! Your characters need goals so they can act with agency and urgency—and so that your readers can be rooting for them as they drive the plot forward. Because it’s difficult to root for someone when you’re not even sure what they want!
The kitchen sink approach
Editor 2: I often come across stories that feel like they are a series of ‘wouldn’t it be cool if...’ and then random pieces of world-building or plot points thrown into the story. And the thing is... Most of it is pretty cool! That giant robot? Asteroid-wielding magician? Talking cat? They’re awesome—but do they all belong in the same story?
It can be tempting to throw everything in because this may be your one chance, and it may make your story seem original and fresh. However, often it feels inconsistent and a little confusing with no clear audience. So, my advice is to keep some of your ammo dry, be strict with yourself about what serves the story, and try to avoid dumping everything into the kitchen sink and leaving a mess to clean up in the morning.
You might find this article helpful on what to do if you’ve got too much plot.
Overuse of names in dialogue
Editor 3: This may seem quite a small thing, but once you notice an author doing it, you cannot unsee it. I understand the temptation! If your characters use each other’s names frequently in dialogue, it quickly clarifies for the reader who is speaking and when, and it can be a great way to add emphasis or emotion. Used sparingly, it’s great!
However, it’s worth thinking about how often you use someone else’s name when you’re having a conversation with them. You likely only use it once or twice, possibly not even that. It’s therefore really noticeable to a reader when names crop up more than is natural. It feels clunky!
See more in our top-rated article on how to write dialogue in fiction.
Cryptic writing
Editor 4: To quote the words of Orwell: ‘Never use a long word where a short one will do.’
The long words in the best literary novels are used sparingly and purposefully, like salt with a good meal. Your literary novel should grapple with complex themes and complex characters, but if you can’t communicate them clearly and coherently, what’s the point?
A good sentence is clear, and good writing makes sense. So, if the sentences are unclear, the writing will make no sense, and the story you’ve tried your darndest to tell collapses. Even if you have one very, very long sentence covering a half—perhaps even the whole—page, use language you know well and communicate with regularly, and avoid unnecessarily fancy prose. Use your words simply and effectively to construct wonderful images; the goal isn’t to make your reader pick up their nearest dictionary!
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Bad sex scenes
Editor 5: The most important thing in a romance is the intensity of emotion and the conflict, so unnecessary sex scenes filled with telling rather than showing can feel disappointing. Instead of describing the act itself, think about the build-up and the sexual tension between the characters, which can be portrayed very effectively without having to get into bed with them.
The chemistry between characters can be portrayed in all sorts of ways—through humor, gentle moments of thoughtfulness, explosive rows, almost kisses, near misses. The language and setting, even the weather, can help. As Diana Gabaldon says, ‘a good sex scene is about the exchange of emotions, not bodily fluids.’
Head hopping
Editor 6: You might choose to split your novel between the perspectives of multiple characters. That can work well as a narrative structure as long as the way you are doing it is consistent. When it comes to commercial fiction in particular, the way you tell the story in the first few chapters will set the readers’ expectations for the framework of the rest of the book. So when we get used to being told the story from a certain character’s point of view—whether that be in first or close third person—we expect to see the whole scene or chapter from their perspective.
This enables your reader to settle in, connect with your character, and to learn something about them and the way they view the world. Jumping into different characters’ heads and switching points of view rapidly throughout scenes can be disorientating and pull the reader out of the reading experience.
Similarly, if you choose to introduce a new point of view late in your book, the reader is less likely to feel a connection to this character and their perspective. It can risk feeling like a convenient device on the part of the writer to tell the reader something that perhaps you don’t want your protagonist to know rather than being fully baked into the structure of your book.
Floating dialogue
Editor 7: Floating dialogue—which is sometimes called ‘floating head syndrome’ or ‘the screenplay treatment’—is where you have a long string of almost pure dialogue with very little else surrounding it. When you have dialogue like this, that doesn’t have descriptions of what characters are doing during the scene or with insights into the internal mind of your character, it can feel pretty tedious to read. It’s hard to sustain reader engagement in a lengthy back-and-forth of pure dialogue, and it starts to create this ‘ping pong’ effect that can easily tire a reader.
Therefore, when writing dialogue, ensure you give your reader a wider sense of the scene so they can visualize it; pause to show the narrator’s perspective of the interaction. The very best dialogue focuses on the subtext of what isn’t being said—one look from a character can tell you everything you need to know in a scene. Remember, this is a novel, not a script!
Coincidences
Editor 8: Coincidences are so tempting because they can solve narrative problems easily. Your main character needs an important object, help from a stranger—or even just to move to the next big scene? A coincidence can fix that! But coincidences are also fundamentally dissatisfying for your reader because they don’t flow from your narrative set-up. And it puts your main character into a reactive position, making them feel passive and incidental. You’re much better off considering your plot beats as ‘action then consequence’: your main character does this, therefore that happens—which they’ll then have to deal with. So much more satisfying!
Backstory
Editor 9: An important aspect of any novel is establishing who your characters are and the world they live in, but this doesn’t mean a reader wants a summary of every minor thing that happened to your main character since they came into this world. It’s also very unlikely that readers want to read pages and pages about the history of the world and the ancient communities who roamed it at the beginning of time.
A novel has limited words, so focus on telling this story well and the details that matter to your main character. This isn’t the time to lay extensive groundwork for a future book in the series. It’s hard for readers to stay invested—or keep track of what the novel is about—when they’re taken on big tangents or forced to read lots of irrelevant backstory, narrative history or other world-building elements that have no impact on the story. Those details might be useful for you to know as the writer, but not every detail needs to be on the page. Stay focused!
Slow starts
Editor 10: I love reading confident, streamlined, even lyrical prose, and I am always drawn to novels that say something familiar in a refreshing way—but never at the expense of pace and plot. It’s so important to ensure that the story starts in your opening chapters. This isn’t the place for extensive backstory, or for long, descriptive passages that fail to propel the plot, or for interesting asides. This is, most importantly, the place to kickstart your novel. What is happening? Why does it matter? Why should your reader care? I think the very best fiction manages to answer all of these questions quickly and coherently (and, ideally, with excellent prose too!).
Condescending writing
Editor 11: Don’t you just love when you dive into a story and the writer really trusts you to put two and two together? They’re confidently dropping hints and easter eggs and allowing you time to really be both floored and understanding of the twist when it hits you. No matter how tempting it may feel to remind us time and time again of that very cool clue you laid down to make the end worth it, take a more relaxed approach.
Similarly, you don’t need to repeat nuggets of world-building information in dialogue to remind your reader of things in every chapter. Your reader is paying more attention than you think—no matter how young they are. They’ve picked up your book because they’re interested! You’ve worked hard to get them invested in your opening salvo, so trust that you’ve done your job and let those clues stay small and subtle for the biggest impact!
Write your novel with editorial guidance and feedback from a Big Five publishing editor when you join us on a creative writing course at The Novelry today.